The alarm was always set to 6 am while I could hardly get out of bed before 9 pm. A happy breakfast later I would drag myself to study. Those were the days before and during the dreaded board exams. Those were days of constant butterflies in my stomach. It has been good three years since and yet from time to time I reflect on how those last months of school shaped what I do and who I am today. Given my circumstances, could I have done better? Slept a little less and studied more from that particular guide? I can never be sure. But after seeing the consequences of those days on my present, I would definitely have done a few things differently.
Go Take A Break
I had planned my study schedule, kept my distance from social media and organised a corner and created a good study environment. Since I was studying science, I was looking to pursue medicine. It was the added pressure of cracking the entrances that gave me a tough time. I was constantly reminded of the fact that those were the crucial hours of my life which would decide my future. Amidst all the stress there was this tiny but impactful voice in me which would dread failure and remind me of the worst consequences. It was the under-confident Varsha speaking. It ate up a lot of my time and energy as I scuffled through notes and crammed chemistry and biology through nights.
Basically, I would tell my previous board exam self not to worry, to chill out a bit and grab that newspaper or go out for a walk. Maybe read a little bit of that half-read novel or catch up on comedy specials. It wouldn’t be a waste of time. Sitting there in the study trying to gulp down formulas without tending to your mental health would do you no good.
Chuck That Junk, Kid!
I wish I had avoided the extreme level of junk that I devoured during that stress period. I was under the impression that munching unto chips and soda while doing the readings helps me relax and concentrate. There is no doubt about the fact that for me it was an incentive to study. But little did I know then that it would mess up my health, and I would get addicted to it. It made me moody and fickle. I realised this way too late and had tried to follow a healthier diet plan after that.
Some Extra Dedication Towards Your Achilles Heels
Practising maths every morning as ma always suggested would have been nicer. Since I wasn’t a morning person, I excused myself from following ma’s advice. Now I definitely regret that. The bits of advice I didn’t pay heed to is decently long. But this one stands out. I obviously did dreadfully in maths. But it’s the possibility that I could have done so much better by being a little less lazy and listening to what my parents said, troubles me. I feel I ran away from my weaknesses instead of facing it headstrong. Had I cultivated the habit during those days it would have been a different story altogether.
So, as you can see it was a mixed bag. I had put on a lot of weight and become extremely cranky during those days. I didn’t particularly enjoy my stream of study either. But that is a story for another day. In my quest to excel at what I believed was my fate I ended up denying myself things that made me happy. I could have made a lot healthier and smarter choices, but I learnt. In retrospect, for good or bad, board exam days were learnings that moulded a different person out of me.
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